If there is one thing you are guaranteed to get as a new Mom, it’s advice. Some welcomed, some much needed, and some, well… some we just have to appreciate the good intentions of the giver. The first few weeks of being a new Mom are hard, (yes moms-to-be, I said weeks not days) in fact the first few months can be so overwhelming not even the 100 Instagram posts and Facebook shares of cooing and smiling can cure this drained, exhausted, and hopeless feeling that even if you do make it through you’re doing it all wrong!
The key, the trick, the one thing that you must do? The number one answer that all “certified” Moms give… survey says? Take care of yourself. While my friends this is, in fact, the most important thing you can do it is easier said than done. But I truly believe the most common downfall in not following this advice is that we misinterpret it. Take care of yourself does not mean have your nails manicured, get to the gym, and set aside time for a nice bubble bath with candles and wine. In any other stage of life sure that’s fantastic. But now as a new Mom, taking care of yourself can be (and must be) accomplished on a much smaller scale.
Even in child birthing classes the “take care of yourself” advice is given and they follow it up with my favorite analogy, the airplane mask. Have you heard it? “You have to take care of yourself before you can help someone else. Like an airplane oxygen mask.” They always tell you to “put it on yourself first, then assist children and others.” And we imagine ourselves with our oxygen mask on, breathing freely using our two hands to assist our children mindfully and carefully. Ha! you don’t get to wear the oxygen mask. With a newborn it’s more like a scene from a thriller movie where you get one deep breath from the mask then you have to use that same mask to allow 10 other people to take a breath while getting them to safety and trying not to internally panic that you are slowly running out of oxygen yourself, and when it’s finally your turn to take a breath again, you drop it and it rolls under some heavy object that you can’t move and you kneel down to reach for it and only your fingertips can feel it and your gasping and reaching all the while your baby is peacefully sleeping because you were able to help them and you finally, finally at the last second snag the string attached to the mask and pull it out and put it to your face and take a deep breath and then another until you are breathing slowly and your heart rate is good and you stand and put the mask down, only to turn and see your baby needs it again! That’s pretty much the extent of your capabilities to take care of yourself first with a newborn.
And so with that being said, how can you take care of yourself with such a tiny delicate and dependent life relying on you? You must do it in small doses. Baby steps. Don’t imagine that you are going to get 5 hours of sleep, a shower, dressed with makeup and hair done, and walk into a new day rejuvenated and ready to take on your newborn. Maybe day one get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep while the dishes and laundry sit. Did you drink 16 oz. of water today? Perfect don’t worry about doing anything else. Set another goal for tomorrow. Day two shower. Even if you are just going to lay back down for a nap.
I always hated when everyone said, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” And who is going to do all this laundry and dishes? Phone calls that need to be made, work that needs to be caught up on. Who has the kind of time to sleep all day?! You can’t, every day. It’s a day here and there that you need. Sleep when baby sleeps on one day. Then forge through on day two trying to do one load of laundry. Sleep again on day three or four and so on. But don’t plan it! You can’t plan ahead that Monday I will sleep and Tuesday I will get stuff done. Oh no that is where we all go wrong. Planning is out the window! As a matter of fact any to do list, schedule, or plan of any kind must be completely set aside in order for you to mentally allow yourself to go with the flow of these first few weeks.
Wake up on any given day and decide today I will sleep. And tomorrow when you wake up you can determine if it will be a power through day or another sleep day. Somedays your plan will change halfway through, that’s ok. One day at a time moms. They say it goes so fast. And in every tear jerking, heart-wrenching, country song out there that is a bad thing. But for newborn moms blink all you want just get through these first weeks and I promise it gets better. (maybe not easier LOL but better)
PS. Newborn sessions are typically 2-3 hours. The perfect time to relax in the studio sitting area all by yourself in a quiet warm room while I photograph your little one so you can share online how perfect and peaceful this time is!
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